10 things no one tells you about having kids!

You get told lots of things whilst your pregnant... It will change your life... It's best thing ever... You will never know love like it... but here are a few things that people don't tell you...

1. You are absolutely fucking knackered, not just tired but you could actually take to your bed for months knackered

2. If you have a girl, you have to clean poo out of their foof!

3. You will no longer be able to hear your own thoughts, all you will hear is "Mummy" "Mummy" "Mummy" "Mummy" over and over again

4. Your children will accompany you everywhere, even to the bathroom. Pooing in peace is not an option, I often have a child sat on my frigging knee whilst I'm on the toilet

5. You won't think twice of wiping a child's nose with your hand, sleeve, coat.. Whatever gets the job done

6. Calpol is the best thing EVER

7. As is Gin (not recommend for the kids)

8. You will never sit in a clean, tidy, quiet house alone until they start school and that's in 5 fricking years!!

9. They only eat cheese after the age of 18 months, sometimes crackers and a few raisins if lucky

10. They never sleep!!!!!

But you will love these germ riddled, uncooperative little monsters unconditionally...

Either that or you'll run off and join the circus!!