in my current life...
I CANNOT get my two year old to wear a frigging jumper!!!! or anything warm at all for that matter, it is -2 and she is dressed for summer (sigh)
How has this happened?
I think when I gave birth I had a complete personality transplant, I went from having my hair done twice a week, carry designer handbags, wearing designer clothes to shopping in Primark (if I get around to shopping at all), carrying the biggest bag I can find to carry all my baby stuff and never getting my hair done but I do still wear Chanel No 5 ;-)
Anyway off to bake the cakes we didn't do yesterday, my goal is to be like Bree Van De Camp
Ok cupcakes made successfully (minus small burn to my left wrist ouch), Amelia actually ate one this time = result but she still wouldn't get any mess on her so we need to keep working on that one.
Background info... I have Amelia the Princess, who hates mess, dirt, anything sticky, yucky and I have baba who loves ALL the above, if she can get covered head to toe in sticky, mucky crap then she is as happy as a pig in muck!
So whilst Amelia is having a nap on the sofa and baba is singing in her cot (please sleep baba, please) I am getting on with my stuff... well I will after I've had a cupcake and a cup of tea.
Also my new Kindle has arrived so I am preparing to sink back into the sadness of reading Madeleine. Not that I need reminding of how much I love my girls but something like this reinforces how fragile life is and that we need to pay extra care, attention and heaped as much love as possible on those dependant on us. I am finding a pattern in things that seem to kick me in the ass occasionally when I need it, a bit more background...
Whilst I was pregnant with baba I just expected her to be just like her big sister, Amelia was a dream baby I hardly knew I had her and that was one of the main reasons I had them so close together. Motherhood was a breeze so an 18 month gap seemed like the right thing to do. Now in reality when baba came along she was and still is the complete opposite of Amelia, she cried and cried and cried, for the first six months she didn't stop crying and what made it worse was she only wanted me, my husband only had to look at her and she would cry louder which put enormous pressure on me. I struggled, looking back on it now I was also slightly down as well (not depressed, just down) and I do put a lot of pressure on myself to try and be the perfect mummy, wife, daughter, sister, friend etc... My house has to be perfect, I always say you can tell my state of mind by the state of my house - If its all clean, sparkling and tidy then I am on top of my game and everything is rosie. If its a mess then so am I. The house was a mess, I looked a mess, we didn't leave the house, everything was far from rosie. I really thought we had made a huge mistake, don't get me wrong though I loved this new baby with all my heart and she so desperately needed me and only me that I was far too over protected of her and I definitely made her more clingy, vicious circle. Any way one day I stumbled across a show called Ouch - Sextuplets! and it was about the Masche family how had sextuplets at the time of the show they were 18 months, similar age to my Mil and they were so free and easy with their kids it really was a wake up call to me, I knew I had to lighten up and just take one day at a time and enjoy my girls. If they can do with six then surely I can do it with two?? so life just clicked into place and it took a little while but now I wouldn't change it for the world (well I would like baba to sleep better but hey). Things are great, baba loves her daddy so much it is so funny to see her when she hears him walk through the door, she gets so excited she almost hyperventilates lol.
Life is good and I am thankful for my girls everyday, for the love, joy and laughter they give me xxx
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