Tuesday 15 May 2012

I go to church but I don't believe in God?


Religion, Church, God, the whole malarkey is a bit of a strange one for me. I occasionally go to church and my girls are christened but I don't necessarily believe in "God" my husband thinks it’s a bit strange and he thinks that something seems to draw me in. Which got me thinking what is it that I like about going to church?? In short I don't really know. I like beautiful things so it could be a beautiful church, a choir that makes my hair stand on end but I do think it’s more than that.

A few years ago we went to Paris and visited the Notre Dame, I could have spent hours in there just listening to the Priest (even though he was speaking French) and listening to the choir, it was beautiful, peaceful, resting and it touched my soul BUT I think because I couldn't understand the Priest is one of the reasons why I loved it so much.

Our local church is not beautiful, it doesn't really have a choir, it has a rocking out sort of band with drums and guitars which amuses me greatly and it has a great sense of community. 

I think religion sets good values for children but is this the reason I take my girls to church? I hopefully install good values at home so am I just looking for an excuse to take them?

The thing that puts me off church... It’s the God part, which is kind of a biggie!! I don't like the whole we shall kneel at his feet, we are not worthy, chant, chant, chant... it reminds me of a cult, which I suppose churches are... a really big cult! It makes me uncomfortable. When I was getting married we had to attend church twelve times before our Vicar would marry us, on the seventh occasion I was a bit fed up of going so I told him we had been twelve times, my husband was mortified that I lied to a Vicar. I on the other hand didn't really care, even if there is a god, I know he didn't come up with that stupid rule!

I have read about many religions and none seem to hit the right note with me, I like elements of the nature loving Pagans, the serenity of the Buddhists, the beauty of the Hindus, the power, wealth and history of the Catholic Church and of course Madonna with Kabbalah.

Don't get me wrong it’s not that I am dismissive and a complete non believer but until I know one way or the other I am on the fence, keeping my options open... Because how do we know? No one knows for certain.

If Jesus were to walk the earth today he would be locked up for being a nut job - Fact!

David Icke could be Jesus incarnated... He could.. How do we know he isn't? We don't but he is branded a nut job. Admittedly I haven’t seen him perform any miracles but you get my point.

So where do I go from here? Do I stop going to Church? 

Am I searching for enlightenment? If I am, I hope he's got a big bloody torch because I am more confused than ever!







3 comments:

  1. I feel similar to you... I don't really believe the bible word for word... I think it was intended to scare people into moral behavior, but I sorta feel like something bigger is out there. I do pray, but I try not to be selfish or pray for frivolous things. I do not believe God would condemn homosexuality. I think all religions have a bit of truth, but a cult like agenda as well. I have seen people turn their lives around by going to church and following the bible... but I think that has a lot to do with community support as well.. also, you have to want to be a good person. I know plenty of horrible people who attend church and lots of good people who do not attend... My definition of a good person is someone who accepts their responsibilities, does not hurt other people intentionally, etc - Jess

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    1. I'm glad its not just me, I find it all a bit confusing but I think a lot of it is residual drumming from centuries of us blindly following religion but that's a whole other story lol

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  2. here's the thing. there is no logical reason to believe in any god. but you are right, churches can produce a beautiful atmosphere and make you feel emotionally involved even if you don't believe any of it. i don't believe in a god, and neither does my wife, but we take our daughter to a nearby community church because they do lots of good works in the community and we like the moral atmosphere to raise our child with. when she is a little older and can handle the abstract stuff, we'll explain more about how there is no evidence for god and how the bible is just old stories, but for now we like her to learn the basic stories and understand what it takes to make a good person. but now i'm rambling. in short, only you can decide if you want to keep going to church, but don't mislead your friends, family, or church members if you don't really take it seriously. it's hard to act one way when you believe something different. hope that helps.

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